Rewriting My Story
More often than not, our identities are shaped around stories that have been told to us about what type of person we are. What if we had the opportunity to write our own stories and shape our identity through our inner knowing rather than by what someone else tells us about how we look, how to act and how to feel. I bet that story would sound like how you want people to talk about you when you’re not around.
My family told me I was an overachiever, obsessive, uptight, impulsive and too sensitive. They told me to make them proud by being a nice girl – which implied, being agreeable, quiet, helpful and achieving academic success. They of course did this because that is what they were told. They believed it and never took the time to challenge it or explore if that was the right path for them or if it was in alignment with their natural abilities, talents or desires.
If I had the chance to use my own words to build my identity, I’d say that I'm fastidious, organized, authentic, laid back and compassionate. I revel in new experiences and excite at the opportunity for discovery. I make decisions based on my gut instinct, because it just feels right. But I realize that might not make any sense to other people. I also find it fun to allow my excitement to rise up in my body the way a creek swells after a heavy rain. Who knows why I am the way I am – or any of us, for that matter? But I’ve finally found that there is freedom in accepting and renaming it in your own words.
I use my deep-set hazel eyes to see the positivity and beauty in the natural world. I use my full lips and smiling mouth to speak with conviction. I use my nose, with that bump at the bridge from an old soccer injury, to slow down and smell the flowers. I use my hands to create a beautiful environment around me and string together words that help people connect and create meaning in life.
When I became a mother, I was guided by what I learned from my loving parents, but knew I was capable and confident to make my own decisions to care for my children in this ever-changing world. I can take the core values my parents taught me and tailor my approach to guide my children to discover themselves in their own unique way. And I know this is the path I was meant to be on because I have never felt a sense of belonging like I have with my husband and children. They accept me as I am and allow me to live fully open. I am comfortable with the identity I’ve now created for myself and trust fully that I’ve made the right choices to create this beautiful life I live.
