On labels...

I don't necessarily like labels, but sometimes it helps to give an emotion, an ailment or a problem a name so you can first accept it, and then work through it. While talking to a dear friend and describing how overwhelmed I get by all the stimulus in my household with little kids, she told me: “I bet you’re a HSP. Take this quiz!” 

Dr. Elaine Aron coined the term HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. It’s not a disorder (about 15 to 20% of the population are HSP), but by naming this certain grouping of traits, she meant to help people understand it. A HSP’s brain works differently - very much in tune and observant. I think this makes me a good writer, but it also makes it really hard sometimes to be a mom to toddlers. 

I have been told so many times by my family: “Don’t be so sensitive!” But I feel like my sensitivity is my superpower (thanks to Glennon Doyle). Being a HSP can also be exhausting because my brain is always processes information and reflecting – and obsessing, sometimes.  “If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time,” says Aron. 

I think accepting yourself the way you are is such an incredible, liberating gift. I am almost 40 and this past year of healing, personal growth and adopting new self care practices has been life changing. It has been so empowering because you can move past being frustrated about why things are the way they are or why you react in a certain way. Accept how you're wired, adapt when necessary, and move on.

As long as we’re talking about labels, I finally figured out why it’s taken me so long to accept the label of mother. My hang up was the outdated view of motherhood. Just like gender can be fluid these days, there are many different ways to view motherhood and be a mother in 2021.

I naturally learned how to be a mother from my mother. She is an amazing designer, cook and bargain shopper, but her pride and self confidence came from being a mother. That is something I couldn’t relate to and for so long that made me feel like I wasn’t mom enough. My sense of pride and self worth comes often from my work and my accomplishments, which is likely more the case with women of my generation since many of us put our career before childbearing. I came into my own long before having kids, unlike my mother.

But with the unique set of challenges that comes along with being a mother, I am finally learning it’s time to evolve again and accept the label of “modern mom” with open arms. Because let’s face it, moms are bad asses and I wan to be a part of  that group! And I’m cool being highly sensitive too, feeling too much should never be labeled a bad trait.

ARE YOU A HSP? (TAKE THE TEST)

Hi, I’m Jenna. I’m a HSP, mom, writer, feminist, wife, yogi, tennis player, cook, Spanish speaker and a wanna-be DJ. What labels are you proud to bear?