Someone once blindsided me in an interview and asked what about my definition of success. I blurted out “The ability to create and maintain quality relationships.” It was an answer from my heart, not my head, and I pleasantly surprised myself. 

I wholeheartedly believe that our relationships – all different types – are also one of the biggest factors in our happiness. Old friends, new friends, mom friends, professional friends, boyfriends, husbands – they all affect us in profound ways. 

Last weekend, I reunited with two friends that I met while studying abroad in Spain in 2003. We always promised we’d go back to Sevilla and celebrate our 40th birthdays, but the demands and responsibilities of adult life got in the way. Twenty years later, we reunited at Leah’s new house in sunny Orange County. The promise of a free place to stay with a pool and a willing chef (Leah) was an alluring scenario to take a respite from hectic lifestyles. 

The three of us met the first day we arrived in Sevilla and naturally gravitated towards each other. Because Leah had a Spanish boyfriend within the first week, the three of us had the luxury of a local tour guide and didn’t hang around with many other Americans. We all lived separately with Spanish families, but would spend time together every day at class, shopping and taking trips all over Europe. What a life we had for nine months! 

Fast forward again to last weekend, Becca had the furthest voyage from Virginia, but I got delayed multiple times and re-routed to LA. As they rolled up in Leah’s minivan to pick me up Friday night at 12:30 a.m.,  I realized that I don’t have any other friends like these. During the hour-long back to Leah’s in OC, we immediately picked up where we left off. The laughter, the energy and the comfort level, even after 20 years, was spot on. 

At dinner Saturday night, we discussed which role we occupied in the iconic girl tribes from TV shows like the “Golden Girls” or “Sex in the City.” But then I realized that we didn’t fit into any category. Leah was and still is the wild/funny one, Becca is the pragmatic/easy going one and I’m the quirky one/task master. 

Investing in this relationship enriches my life so much. And even though they might not be around for all of life’s moments and our circumstances are totally different, we can all still relate and uplift each other in such a special way. Maybe it was navigating a foreign culture that brought us together so quickly, but I would have never guessed that our friendship would have this kind of staying power. It was once again, a pleasant surprise.