On the heels on our five year anniversary, I think I might have figured out the key to a happy marriage, or least my own happiness in marriage. Through lots of personal reflection, self care and soul searching, I will always be satisfied in my marriage if I remember we are always a team, working for our family. Let’s face it – life gets busy and complicated with children, careers and family dynamics, and sometimes, relationships can feel very transactional and stale. There’s maybe another whole other blog post in me about keeping the magic in your marriage while raising kids and owning a business, but let’s save that for a different day. I’m still figuring that all out. Getting back to preserving happiness and sanity….

 My husband is really direct and I hate confrontation. He procrastinates and I like to plan everything weeks in advance. We don’t always communicate well because we’re busy and tired and forgetful – and fundamentally, we are very different people. But we work in a relationship because we want the same things in life, share the same values (for the most part) and have common interests. And of course, we love each other very deeply.

At the core of our relationship is that we want the same thing – a healthy, happy family, to feel loved and supported, and to seek adventure.  Knowing that we have the same goal and that we are constantly working to make it a reality – we use our different talents to offer as much as we possibly can to do things well, keep our lifestyle aloft and our kids healthy.

I finally stopped caring about the equal division of household responsibilities. (Around the same time after I realized women will always do more, like birthing tiny humans) Sure, the mental burden I carry of making sure we never run out of toilet paper, diapers or peanut butter may not seem like a big deal, but it is! And my husband makes a point to thank me for all I do to keep the household running because multitasking is not his forte. That verbal recognition is worth a million bucks. And so is a fresh perspective, some patience, lots of gratitude and a sense of humor.