Let me just start by saying, I cannot embrace chaos. I am simply not built for it. That’s why living with toddlers has been a vexing and exhausting experiment. I’ve definitely become more laid back about certain aspects – like all of our appearances – but not my physical environment. I can get behind the silliness, but the sloppiness gives me immediate, physical anxiety. Between the noise level and the barrage of requests, my nervous system is fried from chronic overstimulation.

Engaging in any type of activity to entertain these two maniacs is one hour of bliss sandwiched by two hours of chaos. I took them to Bookworm Gardens last week and the euphoric, heart-melting moments we experienced hopping from one darling literary-themed exhibit to the next was quickly diminished on the white-knuckled car ride home with them both screaming and fighting over who go to drink out of which water bottle.

So what is a mom to do? Embrace the chaos? Sure, that’s one approach, but for a book nerd like me, I’ve I’ve turned to self-help books. I never believed I’d be the type of person to dive into this genre, but I also never thought I’d be the type of person who forgoes wearing makeup and clean stretch pants in public.

I’ve stumbled on a few of these by accident while I’ve been on my unending quest for relief from migraines.

Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, is a fascinating, scientific approach to identifying and regulating emotions in yourself and others. It’s been so helpful in understanding and approaching my overly emotional children (maybe that’s an oxymoron?)

My only addiction is staying busy so the book “Do Less” piqued my interest, especially since it’s geared towards mothers. It’s less of a life overhaul and more of bite-sized ideas to put into practice and see if you can make them stick. And I am all about small, attainable goals these days.

As I continue to evolve, and try to grant myself some grace as a mother, it has been so helpful to learn about my personality type through Understanding the Enneagram. (I am a “7- the Enthusiast” by the way) It is really crazy how spot-on the descriptions are. This has helped how I deal with my husband (who is a 3) and made me more aware of motivations and healthy behaviors for my personality type.

I know life will get less chaotic and I will remember fondly how adorable my two favorite tiny humans were even when they were testing the limits of my sanity. But for now, I am going keep up with my deep breathing exercises and keep my nose in a self-help book, open to any and all advice for making it through these next few years!